When Are You Most Alive? 

During our Essential Motivators Certification course Monday discussion session yesterday, we discussed the core needs. Someone asked,”So Linda, why is competency and knowledge important for you?” My reply after a big pause, “All I can come up with is emptiness.” Everyone was quiet and I paused for quite a while, then said, “I would be nothing.”

I was so surprised at that feeling that I was speechless for a while. Then Stephanie pointed out that when we can be stressed by the core needs of each of the patterns, but when our core psychological needs are not getting met, it is like psychological death! That was how I would feel: dead inside and empty. 

I’ve been working with the Essential Motivator lens for about 47 years and that is the first time I've really imagined what feeling empty would be like and felt that impact. Others in the discussion began to share their responses with other words, but they all fall under the psychological death category. Even after all these years, I had never really felt how strong the core needs are to us. 

Someone with the Catalyst pattern shared that she feels psychological dead when she doesn’t take the time for empathic connections. The person who asked me that question shared that she had recently realized that her best fit was Theorist when she had previously thought it was Catalyst. She was reminded that what gave her pleasure and a feeling of being alive during the pandemic came when she was constantly learning something new and increasing her knowledge and competence. Yes, she likes the connections with others, but she doesn’t need them in the same way she needs to be increasing her knowledge and competence.

So what makes you feel most alive? I hope this graphic helps you figure that out